| Wheeeeeeeeeeee |
[May. 29th, 2007|09:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | I MISSED YOU, O PLOTBUNNIES | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | N/A (about to go to bed) | ] | This 500-words thing has TOTALLY served its purpose in that I am writing again. Quite a bit actually. More than 500 words. Which is good, if you've been playing along from home. :D
I will probably only post ones on days in which I'm not already writing more than 500 words. Which is kinda cheating but this is my game I get to make up the rules damnit.
So... expect some writing or updates on my DeviantArt maybe? And yes it probably will be about zombies. I'm sorry in advance. |
|
|
| MAHNA MAHNA! (do do, dododo) |
[May. 27th, 2007|06:41 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | RAWR | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jonathon Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain | ] |
I cannot do this style of writing for too long... I thought I could, but it is bloody hard. 500 words is way too much, and I tend to repeat myself a lot. I really don't have that much to talk about... well, I do, but I'm generally out of ideas by the halfway mark. And really, nobody wants to read about my love of zombies. WELL SCREW YOU I'M NOT WRITING FOR YOU ANYWAY.
I don't get why people are so hesitant to join the zombies, at least in movies and stuff. I think that'd be the first thing I'd do. Well, actually the first thing I'd do would be to check if I turned the drier off. Sometimes I have to check it several times before I leave the house... in case I come back and it isn't there anymore.
Which is a bit silly, because our drier is really loud. I'd be able to hear it from the kitchen, but I still need to trod out there and physically check it each time. It's somewhat inconveniencing!
I'd probably go to the toilet, too. If I didn't, I'd end up regretting it. I mean, imagine you're trundling down main street with a few hundred of your undead mates, stakin' out a mall or something... and suddenly you feel a pressing urge to relieve your bladder.
There's no real dignified way to excuse yourself! You can hardly say "Excuse me sirs, going to have to pass up this round of brains. Nature calls!" Generally it'd come out as more of a "MRRGGHHH GRAWWWMMM MANBARGARZZZ" anyway. Zombie vocal cords are silly like that.
Also; I'm pretty sure that some harmanz would lock themselves up in the public loos. And it's not like they'd be too willing to let you into their private residence at the best of times, much less when you're showing all of the physical inclinations of wanting to feast on their brainmeats.
Actually, I'm not really sure that zombies have functional bladders. They never seem to drink anything, except for the occasional spattering of blood. You'd think they'd get massive headaches, being so dehydrated... maybe that's why they moan so much. I think I'd bring some Panadol and a water bottle. Maybe two, in case one of my mates needed some.
Screw having those paranoid zombie-fighting kits... I'd make up a pack of all the things I'd need to join the legion of the undead.
I suppose it'd be easy to stock it along the way, though... y'could just break into someone's house, sup upon their brainmeats and nick whatever you needed. Hell, it'd even give you a place to rest after a long day of terrorizing the city!
When the zombie hunters eventually come for us, I guarantee they'll hit the streets before they think of barging into some ex-old lady's house. Then... THEN we could repopulate. We have the technology... we can rebuild him. Or... um... the zombie race, I suppose.
Are zombies a race? It's probably more of a disease than anything else. Whatever. We don't need classification from the harmanz. We simply are. *Stares into the distance pensively*
525. Not bad... feeling far better, by the way. :) Nothing cheers me up like zombies! |
|
|
| FIREFOX IS TELLING ME THAT SENSICAL ISN'T A WORD |
[May. 26th, 2007|01:21 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | YOU CAN TAKE MY SENSICAL... | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE MY FREEDOM!!! | ] |
I am feeling rather whinge today. However, I refuse to do a purely emo post. So... um... gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE ALRIGHT I'M FEELING PUMPED ARE YOU FEELING PUMPED I'M TOTALLY FEELING PUMPED
I'M SO UTTERLY STOKED ABOUT UNICORNS. ON A SCALE OF ONE TO STOKED I AM MEASURING A PERFECT STOKED. THEY HAVE HORNS AND HOOVES AND SILKY FUR AND SOMETIMES THEY BREATHE FIRE. THEY HAVE FLUFFY SILKY HAIR AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL AND I WANT TO TOUCH IT MOTHER PLEASE LET ME TOUCH IT.
I ALSO TOTALLY DIG RAINBOWS. SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE ALL SHINY AND MULTICOLOURED WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?! BUT IT'S COOL BECAUSE THEY MOVE WHEN YOU DO. I LIKE THE IDEA OF HAVING A RAINBOW I CAN CARRY WITH ME IT IS MINE AND ONLY MINE WHEN YOU LOOK AT A RAINBOW IT IS YOURS BECAUSE IT MOVES DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU ARE. AND ALSO I LOOK AT RAINBOWS FOR A LONG TIME SO PROBABLY FOR A MOMENT DURING THAT TIME NOBODY ELSE IS LOOKING AT IT AND IT IS ALL MINE.
IT IS SORT OF LIKE THE MOON. EXCEPT NOT. RAINBOWS ARE FOR A VERY SMALL LOCATION BUT THE MOON IS FOR EVERYWHERE OR AT LEAST HALF OF EVERYWHERE.
WAIT WHAT WAS ONLY TWO HUNDRED BLOODY WORDS. THIS IS NOT WORKING FOR ME. IS IT WORKING FOR YOU BECAUSE IT SURE AS FUCK ISN'T WORKING FOR ME.
OKAY UM WHAT'S HAPPY... ERM... WELL I LIKE GECKOS BUT I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT GECKOS. I COULD GO ON FOREVER ABOUT GECKOS, SIRS. THEY HAVE HUGE EYES AND LITTLE MOUTHS AND HUGE TONGUES AND THEY ARE PATIENT AND THEY HAVE COOL TOES AND SOMETIMES WHEN THEY'RE THREATENED THEY DROP THEIR TAILS.
I WISH I COULD DROP MY TAILS. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TAILS. MAYBE I ALREADY DID AND I AM JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO GROW BACK. BUT EVEN WHEN THEY DO THEY'LL BE A DIFFERENT COLOUR.
NONETHELESS. THEY WOULD BE WIGGLY. WIGGLY OVERRULES ANY COLOUR CLASHING THAT MAY OCCUR.
THAT WAS NOT FOREVER. THAT WAS NOWHERE NEAR FOREVER. 100 WORDS = ABOUT AS FAR FROM FOREVER AS ONE CAN GET. WELL I SUPPOSE THAT ANYTHING IS AS FAR FROM FOREVER AS YOU CAN GET. THE WHOLE CONSTANT SLIDING SCALE THING. EVEN VERY MANY THINGS ARE FAR FROM FOREVER. AND YES THAT WAS TERRIBLE GRAMMAR. AND I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE STARTING SENTENCES WITH "AND" AND "BUT". BUT THAT WOULD MAKE THINGS FAR TOO SENSICAL.
WORDS MAKE ME HAPPY, I GUESS. IF WORDS WERE A PUPPY I WOULD BE ALL UP ONS THAT SHIT. EXCEPT NOT BECAUSE PUPPIES SCARE ME. THEY SMELL AND THEY HAVE WEIRD FUR AND THEY HAVE DRIPPY TONGUES. I DON'T LIKE THINGS THAT DRIP. UNLESS UNICORNS DRIP. THEY WOULD DRIP RAINBOWS AND THE LAUGHTER OF CHILDREN.
I ALSO DON'T LIKE CHILDREN. THEY'RE VERY DRIPPY CREATURES. BUT YOU GET THAT SOMETIMES. SLEEPING PEOPLE CAN DRIP TOO. BUT THAT'S A LITTLE GROSS AND IF YOU DRIP WHEN YOU SLEEP YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET ONE OF THOSE PLASTIC MATTRESS COVER THINGS.
509. Sorry for the lateness. |
|
|
| And the mome raths outgrabe. |
[May. 24th, 2007|04:40 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | THE Z'S ARE SEEKING REVENGE | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sad Kermit - Rainbow Disconnection | ] |
Assignment work is eating my brainmeat.I have a tendency to save everything for the last possible moment then in a rush of glory... er... pull it out of my arse. It's always very painful and there's a lot of weeping and bleeding and I'm running out of Kleenex's.
Kleenexi? Kleenexi would be a much cooler plural. Or would that be two I's? Nevermind. I really liked Nirvana's first album. I was only four when Kurt died, though. It's a bit hard to feel sad about a musician who died before you were sentient.
Sentience is a bit of an abstract concept, though. Unless something has an adequate method of communication, you can't really tell. And even so, they may just be mimicking. Not that people say "I am aware that I am myself" often enough for most things to learn it... maybe they're just really quick learners.
I'm not thinking too well today. My mind is sort of blank and exhausted, stretched out and left in the sun. It's gotten to that stage where it's starting to become one with the concrete. Soon it will control the concrete... then the road... THEN THE WORLD MUAHAHAHAHAHAHSH shfldkjfldfj fkjdkd kfjd okay I think that's verging on cheating sorry.
I should not do nonsense words. Well, not many, anyway. I would impose a limit here, but that would make things too structured. And that's not how I roll, dawg.
I'm not entirely sure how to continue on from that. I hate that. During this 500 Words I've written myself into a corner three times. Today has been a lot harder than other days, and I'm not sure why. I wish I knew, so that I could change whatever I'm doing wrong.
It could just be that I'm thinking too hard about what I'm writing and not enough about just writing. I keep trying to want to make it interesting, but none of my thoughts are particularly interesting. They're meant to just be whatever's on my mind at the time... and a lot of the time, as you can see, it's just beating myself up for inane things.
People don't use the word inane enough. It has a very classy kind of ring to it. I'd be really disappointed if it turned out to be severely offensive. That would just be too gosh-darned much.
You know, I've been curious, but I've never actually looked up what darning something entails. I'm really curious now, but I'll probably end up going to bed having not looked it up. Then in a few weeks I'll remember at like 5 in the morning and scramble out of bed to do a frantic semi-conscious Google or something. Except... not. It's getting to winter and it's too bloody cold. >:( Well, not yet. But it will be soon.
And when it does, I'll be prepared... probably with a debilitating seasonal disease or something. Such is life.
486. Actually, I feel a bit guilty about writing under 500 words. I think that I'm allowed to do that, though, due to every other one being above the limit. Still, it's something to avoid. Writer's block is pain. |
|
|
| Words are salty. |
[May. 23rd, 2007|07:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | THEY SCUTTLE AND IT SCARES ME | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | "Weird Al" Yankovic - Why Does This Always Happen To Me | ] |
I wanted to write about cockroaches today. About their scuttling. About their evil ways. About how it's not really what they'd do to me by touching me, it's the threat of them touching me that terrifies me. But I don't feel like writing that today.
I don't know what I want to write about. I'm not very good with characters. I've been plotting out a new novel and all my characters are kinda the same. Nerdy, esoteric interests, slightly obsessive... I'm trying with this one to give them all distinct personalities and goals.
Something to aim for... I've got the main plot, but I need subplots. I need minor characters. I need ambitions and fears and conflict and settings! Well, really I don't need them. Some good novels have been done involving only one character. Some great novels have been done using only dialogue. But I'm neither good nor great at novelling. I excel at short story writing. I PWN BRIEF WORKS OF LITERATURE. But once you blow that out, my flaws in storytelling become worryingly apparent.
The most major of that, really, is my tenancy to write characters based on the most irritating aspects of myself. I'm a seriously obsessive person, and I play with words like nobody's business. And I don't mean play in the stuffy English teacher way. I mean play as in stick my hands in it, knead it all about, make kittens and unicorns and little rainbows out of it and then maybe taste some when nobody's looking.
Not everybody does that, and it isn't nearly as entertaining to read as it is to write. Neither are massively tangented conversations. My characters CANNOT stick to the subject. Although the conversations can be entertaining, they make the plot move like a giraffe through mollases. That wasn't a very relevant simile, sorry. I just really like the mental image of a giraffe stumbling through a river of molasses.
Apparently there was a molasses flood once. It killed a lot of people. That would be the worst cleanup job... it'd get in your clothes and your hands... as it dried it would pull at your hairs, and if you just left it be, the ants would come.
I think that the people who clean up disasters should get more recognition. They're in there sorting out the rubble, dusting what needs to be dusted, binning what needs to be binned and demolishing what needs to be demolished. Unmolished. Molishless. Molishless doesn't make sense grammatically. Unmolishated, however, does. I wonder if you can just molish something? That is a seriously awesome word.
It sounds like... attacking something with your teeth. It's certainly a much more visual word than the ones we currently use for that. Although I can't say I need to use those words very often. There are a lot of other words that desperately need pre-etymologizing. Er, that's not a word. What's the word for coining words? Is there actually one, other than "coining words"? Neologism. Thank you, Google! But that's the name for the word itself, not the person who creates it or the act of creation.
Wikipedia says it's a sign of mental illness. Fuck you, Wikipedia. Also talking to webpages as though they're people probably isn't the most sane thing to do. But you get that...
551. Just outside of my 50-word lenience... Damn you, LiveJournal. Still, I'll see you tomorrow. |
|
|
| So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas... |
[May. 22nd, 2007|02:27 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | GIANT Z'S ARE ATTACKING | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Funday Pawpet Show - Episode 331 | ] |
I'm not really as inspired today as I should be. Well, not that I should be. I don't think I should force these things; the purpose is to get writing, even if what I'm writing is utter crap. And for the most part it will be. I'm guessing that this LiveJournal is just one massive tl;dr for most of you. But so are most LiveJournals, really.
I should be saying that as two words. Live Journal. It's not really correct, but it does help to increase my word count. I did that frequently during NaNoWriMo. Expanding things that, by all rights, shouldn't be expanded. None of my characters talked using contractions, which I'm sure would get really annoying to read after a while.
Of course, both times I've done NaNo, I've failed miserably. I think that says something... I'm not entirely sure what it says, but something is being said! I just don't think it's in the same language. We're not on the same chapter, much less the same page. It could say something about my lack of commitment. Or it could say something about my overly concise writing style. Or my inability to make characters distinct.
Or... like... the suffering of Cuban women or something like that. Literary analysis is kinda fucked up in that regard. I was analyzing Snow Falling On Cedars today, and I found out that a great deal of the male characters can be described by their phalluses.
Seriously. It was something I did for lulz, but it makes way too much fucking sense. Or maybe the author's method of spending half a page discussing dude's wangs after introducing them makes no sense, and I'm just trying to salvage what I can from it? Eugh... that book is seriously dirty. I don't feel comfortable reading books with sex scenes at the best of times, much less during English class.
It's partially for that reason that I stay away from Chick Lit. The entire genre is relationship-centric crap, of course, but it also makes for really uncomfortable reading. I don't find whining fun to read at the best of times, much less when it's whining about vibrating panties or lickable love lotion.
My father used to have a bottle of lickable love lotion at his second wife's house. That was a really awkward discovery. I don't know why I felt the need to bring that up, but there ye go. You can be traumatized with me. Solidarity, etc.
I had to explain to someone a few weeks ago what solidarity is. Not that I hold it against him. He doesn't fetishize words like I do. Er, that's actually a really creepy mental image I just got. Like, me standing over a dictionary in full dominatrix gear with a cat o' nine tails.
My brain scares me sometimes. And that's precisely why I want to share it. :D It's like when you share scary stories... reading them on your own is a bit depressing, but having someone else to do it with makes it far neater.
509! Don't expect me to get closer to 500 than that. :( |
|
|
| BANANA MANBARGARZ |
[May. 21st, 2007|05:55 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | NERDGASM | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 2Sense - Show 108 | ] |
I really like zombies. Seriously. Zombies would have to be my favourite undead creature. Unless you count werewolves as undead. No, they're not... at least, I don't think so. If anything, they'd live shorter due to the whole dog thing.
Zombies are pretty bloody neat though. The smell would get pretty bad after a while. Rotting flesh is a weird smell. It's sort of sweet, but still disgusting. I think if zombies were prevelant, someone would make a product to help cover up the stench. They're kind of vulturous like that. As soon as there's a product niche, they fill it... and then some.
Or at least that's what we think, until they find some niche that we never knew existed. Like one of those toothpaste-squeezer things adapted for Mars Bars. Y'know, for those people who can't bear to have even a tiny sliver of chocolate wasted. The kind of people who will shamelessly lick every millimetre of the wrapping once they're done, lest some invisible sliver of lolly go to waste.
Everyone's got to have a hobby, I guess. Still, as hobbies go, that's one of the more pointless ones. Not that my hobbies are any less pointless. Writing poems about necrophilia isn't exactly what you'd call a fulfilling use of time. Nonetheless, it's bloody fun.
I'm in a bit of a morbid mood today. Not that you would've noticed, of course. I'm totally sneaky. Much like a ninja, except without the swiftness thing. But I'm working on it. I do have he unnecessary limb-flail thing down, though. I have a tenancy to dance a lot. Even when I'm not doing something that requires dancing, like making tea.
Not that I'd say there are many situations that require dancing. Not as a life-or-death thing, anyway. It's a bit socially awkward if you don't dance at a party, etc... but nobody's going to kill you for it. I guess they might, but that's a bit messed up. It could be accidental, though... like, one of their flailing limbs hits your nose cartilage and slides it into your brain causing horrible painful death. Er, I don't think that's anatomically possible. Not that I know much about anatomy. As evidenced by my drawings. But being possible never got in the way of a good death.
This entry is making me sound a lot more emo than I am. Not that I contain much emo. In the grand puddle that is me, I'm guessing maybe a spoonful is emo. Um. Please don't stick spoons in puddles. It's unhygienic. You don't know where that puddle's been. Or how it got there. Puddles are life's mystery sauces. Mostly mud. But mud can be pretty saucy.
Please don't use mud as sauce, either. What the fuck is wrong with you, seriously. There's about forty words left of this, I think. Why do we have to spell it forty? Even after being taught the little rhyme thing, I still have the urge to spell it with a u. There should be some sort of club for it. But then we'd have to share seats with the kind of people who misuse "their", "there" and "they're"... and those who misuse "your" and "you're". I really don't think I could remain civil around them for long.
I'm betting I misused one of those in this entry, and someone's going to swoop in and correct me. Bloody Murphy's Law...
569. I don't think I should give myself that much leeway. 50 words above or under, at most. |
|
|
| Rise from your grave! (I hate fighting games) |
[May. 20th, 2007|08:36 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | 500 words | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | MY SKULL IS FIGHTING TO ESCAPE | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | They Might Be Giants - Contrecoup | ] |
500 words a day. That's really not too difficult. The only problem is actually sticking to it. I guess this is just something to get me writing again. I haven't done any writing for myself lately. Academic work mostly. Fuck academia. Is that a word? I don't think it is. It reminds me of macadamia. Those always make me feel sick. They taste like milk gone horribly wrong.
Damn, this is actually a great deal harder than I thought it would be. No matter how fast I type, I always want to type faster. I promised myself that I would switch to Dvorak after I'd done NaNo, but I never managed to do it. I also promised that in '05, but again, that didn't get me anywhere. I guess it's my lack of commitment.
I would like to commit to things. Watch this LJ go unupdated for another year... Er, I don't think unupdated is a word. Misupdated? Disupdated? Updatedless? Updateless may well be a word. Nonupdatitude, however, is most certainly not.
Prefixes and suffixes are fun. If people spent more time playing with words, then... well, I was going to say world peace, but that would be a bit antithetical to the process. Tower of Babel, language barriers n' all that. Not that I'm a religious person. But this isn't meant to be about my political or religious opinions. Nobody wants to hear that crap.
Nobody really wants to read this, either, but nonetheless I'm putting it out here. Partially to show that I'm still alive, partially to get myself back in the habit of writing things, and partially because I'm writing this in Courier New and I really like the way that font looks.
Seriously, Courier New doesn't get the attention it so desperately deserves. It's neat. I don't think I've handed in a school assignment in the past few years that hasn't been in Courier New. Well, often they haven't been written in it. Courier New always seems so final, it makes your words look a lot more important than they are. I get nervous actually writing in it. Most of the time I write in Arial, then switch to Courier New when formatting.
This has the added bonus of making it look like I've written a lot more than I actually have. I can get a few extra pages out of anything just by switching it to Courier New. I'm sure that it doesn't fool the teachers, but it gives me a sense of accomplishment that I wouldn't otherwise have.
I think that's important, really. You have to have something to keep you going. When I was really depressed, I set goals for myself. Just for that sense of accomplishment. It's a pretty small goal: to create at least one thing a day. Whether it's a poem, a drawing or a piece of writing. Mostly it's drawings. I rarely post these... Firstly because I can't be bothered scanning most of them, and secondly because of worry. I'm seriously paranoid!
People can find out a lot about you with relatively little effort, and I'm not proud of a lot of the things I've done. But self-loathing really isn't appropriate at the moment. Besides, I think that's 500 words.
541… neat. |
|
|
| LIKE DOG I AM |
[Jan. 1st, 2007|12:26 am] |
KAVALLA: HI Ivysaur: Please, take me with your hot, masculine, hard, long, throbbing man-stick. KAVALLA: WANNA SUCK MY PENNIS Ivysaur: YES Ivysaur: SPILL YOUR STICKY LOVE-JUICES ALL OVER ME BABY KAVALLA: OH I LIKE IT KAVALLA: I AM SEARCHING FOR GIRL LIKE U ONLY SWEET HEART. KAVALLA: YOUR ALS PLEASE. Ivysaur: He is in the pantry at the moment. Ivysaur: Oh, sorry, I misread. Ivysaur: 16 female Australia. Yourself? KAVALLA: OH NO I AM IN INDIA,HYDERABAD CITY.HOW CAN I MET AND FUCK U.? Ivysaur: MAIL YOUR SEMEN AND I WILL GUZZLE IT LIKE THE THIRSTY DOG I AM KAVALLA: IT WILL NOT POSSIBLE. Ivysaur: POSTAGE IS NOT THAT EXPENSIVE KAVALLA: I WANNA MET U. AND KISS AND BITE UR LIPS. KAVALLA: WANNA TASTE UR VIRGINA Ivysaur: I WANT TO LICK YOUR ANUS LIKE DOG I AM Ivysaur: I WILL SNIFF IT AND NUZZLE IT WITH MY MUZZLE Ivysaur: AND THEN I WILL DRINK FROM THE FRESHLY-USED TOILET Ivysaur: LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: OH I LIKE IT .I AM SEXY BUT NEVER DONE SEX.TILL NOW EAGER TO DO THAT.BUT I DRINK.URINE IN LADIES BATHROOM.LIKE DOG I AM ALSO. KAVALLA: WE BOTH MATCH EACH OTHER . Ivysaur: YES. WE ARE BOTH DOGS. HAIRY ONES. Ivysaur: WE MAY SNIFF EACH OTHER AND SMELL OUR JUICES FROM OUR SOGGING FUR Ivysaur: AND THEN WE MAY ROLL AROUND IN DEAD ANIMALS KAVALLA: SO CAN U POST UR URINE.TO MY ADDRESS.AND UR OVAM? KAVALLA: IF U WANT I ALSO POST MY SPERM TO UR ADDRESS.OK. Ivysaur: yes i will urinate in cup standing on hands and knees like dog I am. KAVALLA: SO UR ADDRESS.MAIL ME.OK. Ivysaur: I live in kennel, like the dog I am. KAVALLA: OH MY HONEY.I LOVE YOU. KAVALLA: UR THE GIRL I AM SEARCHING. KAVALLA: I LIKE U. Ivysaur: I AM HERE Ivysaur: SITTING ON HANDS AND KNEES AND NAKED LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: OH I WANNA SEE U KAVALLA: MY SEXY , MY HOTTY, Ivysaur: I WILL SEND YOU PICTURE Ivysaur: ONE MOMENT [Sends a picture of a really cute Husky] Ivysaur: HERE I AM Ivysaur: NAKED FOR YOU KAVALLA: I WILL ADD MY PHOTO ONEDAY TO MY PROFILE OK.SOTHAT U CAN SEE ME.OK. Ivysaur: YES I WILL SEE IT AND I WILL DROOL OVER IT Ivysaur: LIKE DOG I AM Ivysaur: HAVE YOU ACCEPTED MY PICTURE YET? Ivysaur: I AM POSING FOR YOU LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: I LIKE TO FUCK IN DOGGY STYLE.AND SNIFF UR BUTT I MEAN ASS AND TASTE IT WITH MY TONGUE. Ivysaur: I WILL LICK YOUR SCROTUM IN MY MOUTH Ivysaur: BUT I AM FERAL DOG Ivysaur: I WILL BITE IT OFF Ivysaur: AND THEN I WILL GO TO SLEEP Ivysaur: LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: OK HOTTY.I ALLOW TO DO EVERYTHING.I LIKE IT. KAVALLA: BUT UR IN AUSTRALIA .THAT IS THE PROBLEM. Ivysaur: DO NOT WORRY, DOG HAS VERY LONG TONGUE Ivysaur: WILL REACH YOU OKAY KAVALLA: SO,WHEN WILL U SENDING UR URINE AND OVAM TO MY ADDRESS.BY PARCEL.? KAVALLA: IF U SEND I ALSO SEND. Ivysaur: I WILL SEND IT WHEN I GROW THUMBS Ivysaur: I CANNOT WRITE WITHOUT THUMBS Ivysaur: I WAS BORN WITHOUT THUMBS MY FRIEND LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: PLEASE SEND UR URINE.PLEASE POST IT. KAVALLA: PLEASE PARCELL IT. Ivysaur: I WILL SEE IF I CAN GET MY MASTER TO DO SO Ivysaur: BUT HE DOES NOT LISTEN TO ME Ivysaur: HUMANS DO NOT UNDERSTAND BARKING KAVALLA: OK MY TIME IS OVER I AM CHATTING FROM INTERNET.OK.BYE.IF U LIKE SEND PARCEL.SOTHAT I CAN PARCELMY URINE AND SPERM TO U.OK BYE. Ivysaur: YES I WILL TALK TO YOU AGAIN Ivysaur: BUT WE HAVE SHORT MEMORY Ivysaur: I MAY NOT REMEMBER YOU BUT I WILL REMEMBER YOUR SCENT Ivysaur: LIKE DOG I AM KAVALLA: EVERYONE TRUST IN DOG OK.THE ONLY ANIMAL HUMAN TRUST.OK BYE.
----------
I want to marry this guy. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|01:25 am] |
... Sometimes, it's a small world... you see someone you haven't seen in years, you talk to someone who by chance is close with someone you've been wanting to talk to for ages...
An example of this would be, by chance, going to Sug's LJ after two years of no contact... and finding out that she wasn't dead, like I assumed she was. Which was cool.
But then, sometimes it's a massive world... you may never, and often do never see people again... no matter how close they may have been to you in the past. Sometimes this is for the better, like Zack, who just vanished off the face of the earth... and sometimes this bloody sucks. It may just be the limitations of memory... you could track them down, if you remembered more... or you just knew a little more about them.
It depresses me sometimes...the people who were so vital to me just a few years ago have just... vanished. Do they remember me, or think about me? From my RPing days... my Pagan days... and this phase of transition. So many different identities I've had, with no connection between them. There might be some way to track through if you were very determined, but most people really wouldn't have that much of a desperation... even if they do remember the various personal details etc.
Did they feel ashamed of who they were and cover their tracks, like me? Did they get hit by a car, and store the password nowhere but their minds? Did they just lose interest?
Would I even recognize them? Would they recognize me?
I really shouldn't be thinking this much about the bloody internet. |
|
|
| THIS IS FOR THE EDUCATION OF THE MASSES. |
[Sep. 27th, 2006|10:53 pm] |
IvysaurClock says: Cos any building worth its salt has a kickarse verandah. IvysaurClock says: With hammocks and one of those coin-operated barbeques. IvysaurClock says: ... Do you have coin-operated barbeques over there? IvysaurClock says: They're like these random... table things. You drop in, like, a dollar, and the metal surface of the table heats for like ten minutes so you can cook stuff on it. IvysaurClock says: They're generally found at parks or beaches or rest stops. IvysaurClock says: They're pretty filthy, though. Sometimes people leave some chemicals nearby so you can try and clean it a bit before you trust it with meat. TEH STEEEEEVE: er.. TEH STEEEEEVE: no we don't IvysaurClock says: What if you get a sudden craving for bacon in the park? IvysaurClock says: Dirty bacon, at that! TEH STEEEEEVE: sounds gross IvysaurClock says: It is. IvysaurClock says: Which is why it's only really used by tourists who don't know any better. ;) IvysaurClock says: "Random nasty barbeque? Why, honey, I think we've hit the jackpot! Quick, get out that raw meat we've been cultivating in our hot car for the past five hours!" |
|
|
| It is a conspiracy! |
[Sep. 4th, 2006|10:26 am] |
What They Don't Want You to Know In order to understand oxygenarianism you need to realize that everything is controlled by a LARPers made up of orangutans with help from street performers.
The conspiracy first started during my bird's birthday in the moon. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including that one time at band camp.
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by reciting advertisement taglines.
They want to bite their thumbs at cow tippers and imprison resisters in the Hanson reunion tour using internets.
In order to prepare for this, we all must shave our pubes. Since the media is controlled by pirates made entirely of sandwich meat we should get our information from sandwich meat made entirely of pirates.
http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/conspiracy.html |
|
|
| Damn I love #bct. |
[Mar. 12th, 2006|10:21 pm] |
* Warshrike throws a pokeball at IvysaurClock [maXilla] hahahAHAHHAHahahah [IvysaurClock] Ding... ding... [IvysaurClock] DING! [IvysaurClock] You have caught an IvysaurClock! [IvysaurClock] Would you like to give a nickname to the captured Pokemon? [Yes/No] [Warshrike] yes [IvysaurClock] Enter nickname: [Warshrike] IvysaursCock * IvysaurClock is now known as IvysaursCock [maXilla] kekekekeke [Goonigoogoo] clever [Warshrike] lol [IvysaursCock] Stylish. * Warshrike throws a pokeball at Goonigoogoo [HaltJoshu] k-ching! * maXilla watches goon eat the pokeball * HaltJoshu assasinates Warshrike somehow [IvysaursCock] Aw, c'mon! Get caught. [IvysaursCock] All the cool kids are doing it. [Warshrike] did I catch it?? [IvysaursCock] Ding... ding... [IvysaursCock] Oh snap! It broke out! [IvysaursCock] ... You'll need to use an Ultra Ball. [IvysaursCock] Or send Goonimon to sleep first. [Warshrike] IvysaursCock, I choose you!! [IvysaursCock] Bwarrrrrgchch! [Warshrike] Gooball attack!! * IvysaursCock tentacle rapes Goon [Warshrike] (ewww) [IvysaursCock] CRITICAL HIT! [Goonigoogoo] attack missed! [IvysaursCock] I said, CRITICAL HIT! [IvysaursCock] IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE! * Goonigoogoo uses BAN * Warshrike throws a masterball at Goonigoogoo [IvysaursCock] Nyoooo!!! [HaltJoshu] oooh * Goonigoogoo sets mode: +b *!*@868e42d6.dialup.optusnet.6ca6b00c.au.hmsk * Warshrike was kicked by Goonigoogoo (SUPER EFFECTIVE) [HaltJoshu] ban has infinite PP and works against everything * maXilla throws a pokeball at IvysaursCock * Goonigoogoo sets mode: -b *!*@868e42d6.dialup.optusnet.6ca6b00c.au.hmsk [HaltJoshu] looks like you lost this battle [IvysaursCock] I'm already owned. [maXilla] good job Goonigoogoo! [maXilla] YOU LOSE [IvysaursCock] You'll need to trade with my master. [maXilla] YOUR YRAINER IS DEAD * Warshrike has joined #btc [Warshrike] Touche [maXilla] I STEAL [HaltJoshu] you black out and somehow lose half your money [Warshrike] And wind up at a Pokecentre... [IvysaursCock] But on the plus side, I'm fully healed! [maXilla] your anus is bleeding and there is a dollar pinned to your shirt [IvysaursCock] But on the plus side, I'm fully healed! * maXilla throws a pokeball at IvysaursCock [HaltJoshu] why the SHIT do you lose half your money if you lose? [maXilla] SPOILS OF VICTORY! [Goonigoogoo] cause I robbed your ass [Warshrike] HEY!! * IvysaursCock tentacle rapes maXilla [maXilla] goon [IvysaursCock] Vine whip, baby. Warshrike throws a masterballs at maXilla [maXilla] IvysaursCock isnt playing fair [Goonigoogoo] what [Goonigoogoo] yeah ivy, you can only attack max if he's a pokemon [Warshrike] ding... ding.... DING!! [maXilla] word [IvysaursCock] I don't have to play fair. * maXilla throws a pokeball at IvysaursCock [Warshrike] I caught a maXillamon [IvysaursCock] It's virtual cockfighting. [maXilla] I WANT TO GIVE MY NEW POKEMON A NICKNAME [IvysaursCock] Ding... ding... diiii *GLITCH* [HaltJoshu] only instead of cocks, theres jackasses [Warshrike] lol [IvysaursCock] Previous save file loaded. [IvysaursCock] Unfortunately, you haven't saved in the past three hours. [IvysaursCock] Poor sap. [Warshrike] nnoooooo [HaltJoshu] means you have to get raped by that gang of rock pokemon again [Warshrike] thats means I no longer have IvysaursCock! [IvysaursCock] But that only applies to maXilla. [Warshrike] oh ok [Warshrike] *phew* [IvysaursCock] Since he was the one who threw the Pokeball at me after I was already owned. [IvysaursCock] You'd better save now, Warshrike. [maXilla] your new name is PublicCumDumpster * Warshrike saves game [maXilla] suck it up bitch * IvysaursCock is now known as PublicCumDumpster [PublicCumDumpster] Waaaiiitt a minute... * PublicCumDumpster is now known as IvysaursCock [IvysaursCock] I'm Warshrike's bitch. [Warshrike] aww yeah [maXilla] i choose YOU PublicCumDumpster! * Warshrike spanks that cock... wait... I wanna rename this pokemon!! * IvysaursCock vine whips maXilla [IvysaursCock] Just use the Name Rater if you want to change a nickname. * IvysaursCock is now known as Name * Name is now known as NameRater [maXilla] GLARYHOLE ATTACK [maXilla] GLORY [NameRater] Hello, would you like me to rate your Pokemon? [Warshrike] yes [NameRater] THIS NAME IS A WEAK, GIRLY NAME. Would you like to change it? [Yes/No] [HaltJoshu] ZERO BITCH! [Warshrike] yes [NameRater] Enter name: [HaltJoshu] F U C K T A R R [HaltJoshu] oops [HaltJoshu] mispelled it [maXilla] BOLD [Warshrike] Superhappyfunzoneofdeathdestructionandsex * NameRater is now known as Shfzoddas [Shfzoddas] Had to abbreviate. [maXilla] lasvegas? [Warshrike] lol [Shfzoddas] Okay, that's surprisingly catchy as a name. [Shfzoddas] Shfzoddas. [Shfzoddas] Say it with me. [Shfzoddas] Shfzoddas! [maXilla] shitface [Shfzoddas] Shiffzodders. [HaltJoshu] add a U and its slightly sayable [Warshrike] lol [HaltJoshu] Shufzoddas [Shfzoddas] Shif, damnit! [Warshrike] Shafzoddas [Shfzoddas] Go suck on a slippery Shif. [Warshrike] hey, I own you!! [HaltJoshu] go shif your zodda [Shfzoddas] To HaltJoshu. * Kyee has quit IRC (Quit: Kyee) [Warshrike] Shfzoddas, cockmaster attack now! [maXilla] ... [Shfzoddas] GLITTTTCCCHHH [maXilla] is this an african RP channe;? [Shfzoddas] Previous save file will be loaded. [HaltJoshu] no * Shfzoddas is now known as IvysaursCock [HaltJoshu] just another day in the life of #btc [maXilla] so, im in thousand needles... [Warshrike] And it's 99% my fault... [IvysaursCock] Gotta catch 'em all. [Warshrike] what, std's?? [IvysaursCock] Yes. [HaltJoshu] Wild Zergling attacks! [IvysaursCock] I keep them in this jar, personally. [HaltJoshu] Zergling uses Zerg Rush! CRITICAL HIT! It's super effective! One hit K.O! [IvysaursCock] :o [IvysaursCock] omg hax * Warshrike uses revive on IvysaursCock [Warshrike] IvysaursCock, Pwn attack now! [HaltJoshu] It's not very effective... [IvysaursCock] Lag! :'( * Warshrike throws a nochanceoffailing ball at Zergling [Warshrike] ding [Warshrike] ding [HaltJoshu] Zergling eats it! [Warshrike] DING! [Warshrike] Wild Zergling's intestine is caught! [IvysaursCock] Would you like to give a nickname to the captured intestine? [Yes/No] [Warshrike] yes [Warshrike] I wish to call it Intestomomo [IvysaursCock] The captured Intestomomo was sent to Someone's PC. [IvysaursCock] And there's nothing you can do about it! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|